7 Women Reveal Their Most Awkward Car Sex Stories Ever!
Lane Moore – The Cosmopolitan
There’s always a reason you have to escape your house to have sex, and cars seem like the perfect place — like a little hotel room with wheels. But in actuality, there are knobs everywhere and a gear shift hitting your butt and, a lot of the time, police officers wandering around trying to stop you from, well, having car sex. Here are seven mortifying stories about people who tried to bang in a car and ended up in an awkward place.
- “About 10 minutes into it, we see his parents pull back into the driveway. “A few years ago, my boyfriend’s parents left to go away for the weekend. I headed over to his place immediately and we decided to change things up by having daytime car sex. Since my car was a coupe, we decided to do it in his parents’ SUV, which was so much larger. About 10 minutes into it, we see his parents pull back into the driveway. As they got out of the car, we laid down flat so they couldn’t see us. They went inside and we promptly put our clothes back on and snuck out of the car. Turns out their hotel reservations were for the following weekend! Oops.” —Sophie, 24
- “My boyfriend and I awkwardly stumbled out of the passenger side while a farmer continued to look at us. “”My boyfriend and I were headed to some shopping outlets way out in the country when we suddenly couldn’t wait to have sex. We pulled off the highway and parked in the middle of nowhere by a huge field. He climbed into the passenger seat and I straddled him. We were so caught up in the act that we didn’t see the tractor speeding toward us across the field until it parked right up against the chain link fence separating us, giving the driver a clear view through the driver’s side. My boyfriend and I awkwardly stumbled out of the passenger side while a farmer continued to look at us. No words were exchanged with the curious stranger as we situated ourselves back in the car and sped off. Now that man is my husband and he is scarred for life from ever having sex in a car again.” —Katie, 32
- “Just as we were really getting into it, his dog noticed that he was home and came barking and jumping up on the car door, scaring the living daylights out of me. “My now-husband and I were 19 and sitting in his car right outside his house (he was sitting in the driver’s seat and I was bent over giving him oral). Just as we were really getting into it, his dog noticed that he was home and came barking and jumping up on the car door, scaring the living daylights out of me. I jumped up as my boyfriend leaned forward and my head got pushed against the horn. The horn was going for, like, 30 seconds and his parents ran out to see what was going on while his package was still out and I was still slightly hunched over. His parents still tease us about it.” —Rene, 26
- “The helicopter had landed and a uniformed police officer came to the car and asked for our ID.””My college boyfriend and I drove up a country road that we knew they were building something and figured no one would bother us. We were in the backseat doing it when I heard a helicopter and mentioned it to him. My boyfriend said, ‘Don’t worry about, they won’t land,’ but the sound got louder and louder, and when we looked out the window, the helicopter had landed and a uniformed police officer came to the car and asked for our ID. I think he was just making fun of us but it was still mortifying.” —Murphy, 58
- “As I was trying to furiously rip my pants off over my shoes, my hand lost its grip on the pants and I jabbed myself in the eye with my super long ’90s acrylic thumbnail.” “My boyfriend and I were on our way home from a club and things got so hot that he had to pull over to the side of the freeway. This is back in the ’90s, so I had on the requisite bustier and high-waisted pants with this crazy front pleat, but they fit really tight over the ankles. As I was trying to furiously rip my pants off over my shoes, my hand lost its grip on the pants and I jabbed myself in the eye with my super long ’90s acrylic thumbnail. I ended up with an inch-long cut under my eye which also turned black and blue. I still have a small scar under my left eye to this day.” —Sandra, 47
- “The police officer said, ‘Ladies, while I appreciate your attempts at intimacy, this is a private park and you have to leave.” “One time, my now-wife and I were fooling around in the front seat of my car in the middle of a parking lot late at night. We were both sitting in the passenger seat with me on her lap. A cop came up to the driver’s side window and I had to crawl back across to open it. He took a look at the two of us, paused, and then said, ‘Ladies, while I appreciate your attempts at intimacy, this is a private park and you have to leave.'”—Kristen, 34
- “I asked the guy how long the homeless man had been there watching us and he guessed, ‘Couple minutes?’ “I was on a second date with this guy and we’d spent all of dinner playing footsie under the table. He walked me back to my car and went to kiss me good night and things immediately got so hot and heavy that we took it into my car. A few minutes into me going down on him in the car, he tapped me on the head politely and said, in the manner in which you would try to get a waitress’s attention, ‘Umm.’ I removed myself from his penis and looked up to find a homeless person staring into the car window! I asked the guy how long the homeless man had been there. He guessed, ‘Couple minutes?’ He had let someone watch me give him oral sex for a couple of minutes because he didn’t want to stop me. That’s how much guys like blow jobs. ” — Tess, 32